Today’s topic will be what ruins relationships. Well as in my previous post I have post a post title” Relationships”. Well this will be the continuous of the previous post.  Many of us focus on how to maintain a good relationship or how to remain in a relationship. But do all of you know that what actually causes or destroy a relationship? This few example here is taken form a audio sermon that I have just heard.

Selfishness destroys relationship. Selfishness is the number one cause for divorces, arguments as well as break off. Let us take a look in James 4:1-2, it says, what causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.  Many a time we human starts a relationship with generosity  but later as time passes by the selfishness starts to creeps in our relationship. Let’s us take for example, when you first start to date, you will eventually opens the door for her, hold her bag, helps her to carry stuff but what happen in few months time? Or perhaps in years to come? Do you still do the same? Perhaps she will be carrying everything for you. As for the ladies, does your current boyfriend or husband react to you in the same way as they first met you? I do not want to be one sided here. How bout you ladies? When you were in a relationship, you cook for him, remind him about his work, and many more but what happen in months to in years to come? Isn’t it true that we put more energy into starting a relationship than to maintain in a relationship and keeping them healthy? All right, it is our human nature that we are selfish. A valid example is each day when we wake up what is on our mind? Most of us will be thinking what should I wear? What I suppose to do? Do I have a meeting? I need to prepare fast. It is all about us and us alone. The Bible says a greedy man stirs up dissension, but he who trusts in the LORD will prosper.-proverbs28:25. Here it simply tells us that selfishness causes troubles. To overcome it we need to have Selflessness! In Philippians 2:4, each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Therefore, do put others first.

Pride is also one of the reasons why relationship cannot be maintained. The Bible says pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice in Proverbs 13:10.looking down on other people is a NO NO! Criticising others is a bigger NO! do all of you know that it is by pride the word of jealousy came in. When we have pride in ourselves we intend to be jealous about others, about how good they are. Come on, what are there to be jealous of? We all have our own life to live. Besides jealousy, pride also brings stubbornness. The stubbornness here is that it is hard for us to say SORRY to others. We find it hard to say because deep within us we want respect from others; we want others to see us as a winner. Look this is pride. Let go your pride my dear brothers and sisters. Do all of you know that, pride is self deceiving. Pride deceiving simply means that others will be able to see our pride but we ourselves does not. In Proverbs 16:18- Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Humanity is the key to overcome pride. In 1 Peter 3:8, finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. How? By letting Jesus Christ controls our hearts n mind. in Ephesians 4:23-24, it says, to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Do not think like the world. Change the way you are thinking!

Next will be insecurity. Insecurity will destroy a relationship. In Proverbs 29:25, fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. Take for example, let’s say you do not trust your partner, what happens when your partner go out with her/his friends? Do you feel some kind of uneasy? Fear that you will lose her/him? What happen next? You intend to control your partner. This is not the way my dear brothers and sisters. We need to Trust! I believe some of us here have the Fear being rejected. Well it is part of life. What happen if we fear of rejection? We begin to put the wall around us. We box ourselves in a box but, one man, by the name of Jesus Christ was once rejected and now still there are people who rejects Him but there are also thousands and millions of people accepts Him! In Ephesians 4:31, God’s says get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Call upon the Lord. Open up to Him.  Try again, yes u might be rejected again but u one day u will receive acceptance! Take risk because God accept us! To overcome insecurity we need love. Love builds up relationship. In 1 john 4:15-18 it says, if anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.God still loves us even we all sins everyday! He accepted us!

The last but not least is Resentment. The bible says in Job 5:2, Resentment kills a fool, and envy slays the simple. The fact is we can never change the past! Never! What is done in the past it is done. It is signed, sealed, delivered. We must overcome the hurt! Knowing that things will grow better! Hebrews12:15  says that, see to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many .Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many—New living translation. Deep down inside when there are bitterness inside it begins to trouble u! We intend to make a conclusion.  For example, every man in the world are bad, all girls are the same and many more. Forgiveness is the key to overcome it. Forgiveness is simply means letting go of the pain! In colossians3:13, it says, bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Sometimes is so hard for us to forgive* I truly experienced it* but we must forgive* I’m still trying*. God forgives us and we still need God’s forgiveness! How can expect God to forgive us if we do not forgive other?  But how can we do that? Simple, by allowing God’s love to begin to work in our life!

I would like to end it with some verses form the bible:-

Titus3:3-7

At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.

Therefore spend time with God.

This question is rather hard to answer for some of us out there.

When a person asks you, are you willing? What is your usual answer?  Yes? No? If your answer is mostly yes I believe you are a risk taker. What if your answer is mainly no? Yupz you are right, you are not a risk taker. For some who do not know whether to say a yes or a no, I can tell you, you are an indecisive person.  Do not be proud of it man. You will have a hard time in choosing something especially in between two choices in life. Trust me, you will hate the feeling of do not know which to choose in life.

All right, I will start with the Word of God. The bible says, in John 3:16, For God so loved the world that He give His one and Only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For those who are Christians I believe many of you know the Scripture in your hearts and truly understands the Word. For those who are yet to know, this verse here is mainly telling us that God loves us so much that He give His only Son, Jesus Christ for us. Yes for you and me. He gave us Jesus so that we may live forever. Live forever here does not mean we will not die. We will. In fact everyone will die one fine day. Some might die slightly early and some might die slightly later. No matter what happen, we will surely die one day and be with the Lord. Some may ask, but what had Jesus did for us? Well, Jesus was crucified.  Before He was crucified, He was mocked by the soldiers. The stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand and knelt in front of Him and mocked Him. Later, they spit on Him and took the staff and struck Him on the head again and again.-Matthew 27:27-31, Mark 15:16-20. Can you picture it? I can tell you no one ever, ever will do this for you and me except Jesus. No one will take all the blame, all the shame, all your sins but Jesus, Jesus would and He did! Thank You O Lord for this amazing Love! See, some might say well my partner or my parents is willing to die for me. How sure are you? Perhaps there are some who are willing. But, will they take all the blame and be mocked, bitten, struck with flesh for you? All those blood that Jesus shed was all because of you and me.  God send Him here for a purpose, so that we will live forever and so that we can enter His kingdom. In 1 John 5:11-12..God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life he who does not have the son of God does not have life. My fellow readers, the Word says very clearly that whoever believes in Him will have life. The eternal life. How do I know the Word was the Truth? Well, the bible says, Know the truth and the truth will set you FREE! –John 8:32 Amen! Well in the bible it also says, in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God-John 1:1. In this particular verse it’s already tell us that the Word truth. And what happen when we know the truth? It will set us FREE!!

You know God is speaking to each of you right now, He says, come, come to me my child. Come to me you who are weary.

Come to the Father though your gift is small

Broken hearts broken live He will take them all

The power of the word the power of His love

Everything was done so you would come.

 Are you willing to receive Jesus? Are you willing to open the door fro Him? He has been knocking your door for such a long time waiting for you to open the door. Are you willing to open it for Him? Are you willing to give Him a chance? Are you?

If you willing to accept Him pray this prayer* I know I have wrote it in one of my post but today I will write this out again*

Thank you for loving me. Thank you for dying on the cross for me, for all my sins. Yes Lord, I have sinned and I have gone my own ways. Lord I come before you today and ask for your forgiveness. Forgive me Lord for all my sins. Even as today, Lord with all my heart I ask You to come into my heart and be the Lord of my life today, now and forever. In Jesus name I pray Amen.